Friday, November 19, 2010

Why do some people take offense when others don't like the same things they like?

This question applies to me. But the times that it bothers me most is when I ask someone, "do you like such and such?" and they reply with " I HATE that!" I take that personally because the word hate is so strong, and I feel that if people hate something that I love, by extension, they hate me.

I don't think I'm the only person like this. I often feel disappointed when someone criticizes or dislikes something that I love or appreciate. But we just need to remember that it's just taste.

The reason I bring this up today is the whole Harry Potter craze going on. I like the Harry Potter books; but I am better without them. They really have a negative effect on me. But that doesn't mean that I disrespect people who like it.

Anyway, I feel this is a valid question.


  1. I guess it is because our opinions in many ways define us. To a certain extent we are what we think, feel, like and dislike.

    Also as humans we are constantly trying to understand and make connections.

    If we like someone we want them to like us... when they disagree with us it is make it hard for us to understand and connect with them... because it is hard for us to draw the line between our tastes and ourselves.

    We all struggle with this... But I find that discussing different opinions with others, as long as both parties are respectful. I find I understand more about myself and the other person when I see why someone thinks they way they do. When I see were the difference comes from I understand more, which is the whole point of discussion.

    Oh well... I guess that's my half formed two-cents.
    I miss you Elisabeth :)

  2. I'm often having to remind my boys that it's really ok to disagree with someone else's opinion: you don't have to have the same opinion as your older brother (the little guys often want to agree even if they don't).

    On the other hand, it's often fruitless to try to convince someone to have the same opinion as you. We often have to just agree to disagree and not take it personally or as a sign that we can't be friends with that person. Some differences of opinion can make a good discussion.

    I just wish people wouldn't use the word 'hate'--it's way too strong, especially to use in relation to things that shouldn't elicit such a strong response. "I can't abide a mountain" and all that. :0)